Dysphoric.

Did i hear you right? Or it was just an imagination? A hallucination? An ignis fatuus? You looked depressed, sad, or do i even describe you right? I felt so so helpless, powerless, useless. I wanted to..to hug you. But you know why i can't. I...I'm worthless. People were showing, pointing for me. But, i don't know what i should do. I felt so..so.. I'm just plain stupid.
I don't wanna know. I don't wish to know. I don't want anything to leave. I want everything to stay. Even I have to make myself selfish. I want you to stay. I don't know and don't care what my feelings are right now. All i want is you to stay, can you? -eyessoakedintears-

Yay i found a new word which i don't think i can remember but what the heck?! I will try to remember and use it so yay? x)

Had 93 for Geog. Can't really ask for more. So i'll just leave it here.

Maths. Such a killer!! I had only 89!!! IT'S EIGHTY-NINE!! Goddemit! It's not even above 90! It's the very freaking first time of my life dude! What the hell~! How can i make mistakes?! SILLY MISTAKES!! Well no bonus this time and i think part of me is actually feeling okay with it. It's fairer right? So my Maths, from perfection, i dropped till 89. It's eleven marks difference. Let my bro hears about it and how loud will he laugh? Oh congrats Clement for getting the highest although you still aren't satisfied. However, there's one thing that i'm pleased about myself. I am certainly NOT pushy like someone. I actually felt pity on teacher. And it's kind for teacher to ask whether i'm satisfied or not [although the answer is pretty obvious]. -faint smile-

I don't think it's wise to fight against someone, who you know, is not worth to. So i guess i'll just leave it here, unless he offends me.

Science. I had 96. Yay? Could've gotten 98 if it's not because of those friggin' questions! I should just follow textbook BILNDLY next time. Uhh~ And someone just had to walk around teacher's seat to peek other people's papers. How busybody. It was a miracle that i didn't shout at him already.

BM. Still waiting for paper one.

BI. Teacher was absent again. I doubt that we will get our papers back this week. And crap! That aluminuim question. How can it be wrong? WHICH idiotic teacher WHICH set the questions?! TOTALLY and UTTERLY UNREASONABLE! I will fight with En Annamalai about it! Well that is, if someone doesn't act like a dog and sticks with teacher everytime. Oh but the sun will rise from the west if he doesn't do so. So, who knows.

Moral. AGAIN~! Someone acted like a DOG~! He even speaked like a dog. I'm sorry. It's BARK~ When dogs bark, it's so damn loud and irritating right? Well if your dog isn't, the dog behind my bedroom certainly is. *sniff*

Oh yeah. I guess i know how many mistakes i have in BM paper one as the smart Joo Er stated over there for me although i asked her not to do so. So i know. And i got an A. But i'm not satisfied. I had more than 8 mistakes in paper one. And if paper is over 100, i'll be getting B already.

Will have Sejarah tomorrow. So i guess to be very down-to-earth and accept every single critiques i guess. Even if i lose my dignity, what can i do? I'm already the last in the class already. I seriously don't dare to think about my position in form. x.x So, hope teacher won't say anything harsh tomorrow although i know it's quite an impossible request.

-Tipsy by J-Kwan