After writing this blog post, I reckon I should let go and move on. So this shall be the final dedication to the highly coveted wish of mine.
The bottom line is, I am not going to London.
Why is that sad? I have been preparing myself for weeks for London. I started listening to British songs. I started watching British dramas. (Downton Abbey is actually a very exciting drama, with its British accent and unusual phrasing and choice of words) I began picturing how my life would unfold in the city of London. I tried to get a feeling of how walking at the streets of London would feel like, how the coldness in London would feel like, how the citizen of London would treat foreign students. Everything was beginning to feel possible. I was 70% prepared for it.
Why was I so confident? Many things that have happened had let me to believing that I really stood a chance for this scholarship, actually. Mainly, the interview went very well. The interviewing panel was very interested and pleased with what I had to say. I felt good with what I said, most importantly. And I can't deny that all the follow-up emails that I had with the sponsoring foundation hinted to me that I definitely stood a chance.
But still, why am I so upset? Well basically the email which I received from the sponsoring foundation states that the reason I am not qualified/chosen is that I am not financially-needy enough. It is stated that my academic and non-academic achievements are actually very good, in fact they're one of the best that they're ever seen so far (their words), but I guess there must be another candidate who is more deserving of this scholarship than I am. And deserving, it may refer to his/her financial requirements, rather than other aspects of achievement (my words). This reason seems very ironic to me because the main reason I am applying for this scholarship is the lack of finances that I have to study in London. But that is the very reason why I am turned down. That's the general idea that I picked up from the email they sent me anyway.
So what should I do? If I do not receive a follow-up email on Monday, I will prepare for Hong Kong University. There are plenty to prepare for and there is definitely a long list of things to buy. And I will focus on that.
Any final thoughts? I will always remember that London is a place which I once badly wanted to go to. The picture (and the experience) of having an education in the city of London is very rewarding. In fact, too rewarding that it seems slightly difficult to let the idea go. It is because it truly and firmly marks the end of one of my dreams. That idea has been implanted in my mind for a few weeks, so definitely it is slightly difficult to forgo this dream. But I shall and I will.
If you have read this post up to this point, I thank you. And I wish all is going well in the pursue of your own chances in a tertiary education. I really do. And may all of us embark in a valuable and unforgettable journey when our degree commences.
