Forgive.

The ability to condone is the ability to love. I second that!

I was so ashamed at myself for being... I'd decided to dislike you for what you did. But just then i realised that i couldn't do it. It was just too big for me. I just can't bear disliking you. So i guess i condoned you, that easily. And just then i realised, how much i like you, how much i actually care about you, how much i... My fingers stopped, abruptly. I didn't continue. I didn't want to continue. I didn't know how to continue.

Life is back on track although i'm not sure whether this is normal enough. But at least i'm having, the slightest if not the most, fun of it. x) I don't think i give a damn on anything. I just pray there will be no spotchecks though i know Mr Tan likes to walk around, like today. 0.0;; Luckily~ I thought he was going out? -wonders-

Anyway will do. I'm just too tired reading fictions today. I don't think i can stop. I need something to drag my attention away from computer so that my parents will not ban me from using computer and so that i can continue coming online.

Looking forward to class party although it will, most probably, be a very tiring one.

I want dota! Bro just won't stop me! I got the cd! I rule! XD

Oh crapo! Need to bring books back if what Hew said is true. And i have to return these pmr papers back too. Crap~ I haven't finished looking through. >.>

Why am i not Hazwan? XD

Oh yeah crap. Cannot go to the so-called-graduation in primary. It is on a Friday. Next Friday! Goodness~ >.<

-owari-

Hate + Loving my life.

Pn Siti Hanah rocks~ It's kind for her to call me out to comfort me though i couldn't hear what she said most of the time. ^^" It was surprising that she speaked that soft, seeing how loud she shouts when she teaches.

I think i really going to hate Cikgu Rahim for losing my things TWICE and made me lost my marks now and year-end last year, which means TWICE! What the hell~

Bilik peperiksaan incident. Scary~ Can still hear them arguing about me eventhough the whole thing is done and i was leaving. =.="

Considering those form fours who joined choir, i don't think i wanna join. Moreover, they seem to be very busy. Why can't they practise after school which is more convinient? Well probably it's their decision which i have no rights on anyway. x) Moreover, it's a disgrace. xD Well probably i will join if Pn Wan Rosna wants me to. xD I ask a lot, don't I? x)

I'm not photogenic at all. >.> That's why i was very reluctant to..take photo with..Roger. :S Wonder why did he ask me as well. :S

Nothing much to say. Hope i can do well in the test tomorrow. So, now, continue reading, since i have no dota to play. >.<

Underneath. My. Clothes.

Happy birthday to US First Lady Laura Bush, who turns 60 today. Born Laura Welch, she married George W. Bush on November 5, 1977, the day after her 31st birthday. Quote: "As we clear away the debris of a hurricane, let us also clear away the legacy of inequality." — Laura Bush

• - copied from here. It's dated 4th November.
  

It's weekend again. I felt welcomed. However, the morning tuition spoilt everything. I hope they will change the date as soon as possible. But i hate going tuition right after school! Moreover, my school activities are in the evening weekdays. Many thing will crash together and cause troubles for me. How 煩わしい~

Tuition. Form one [form two to-be] and form two [form three to-be] are in the same class since many people won't be coming every Novembers. But today, there were surprisingly few students. Nine i think. -lol- And the form ones are indeed form ones. Lol~ Was i like them last year? Nope. Christopher was missing. I didn't see him today. He won't be coming? Or was he just absent? And the class is extra quieter too. Vinop is also absent and i think i like his absence. x)
Had only BI and BM. Didn't actually learn anyhting for English. Did normal exercises. However, it's not the same for BM. Teacher told us about her conclusion on the recent PMR papers. She had both K [government school] and N [something like private school i guess] and she found out that students from N can score much higher than K. She did mark down that, the highest was 98 over 100 in paper 2 and she gave one of the students full mark in Bahagian B which is the Gambar Rangsangan part. She said, this is because students from N did less, and even none, grammatical mistakes and used a lot of Frasa Menarik. This two factors are very important to bring good impression to the examiners.
In the end, she gave us novel to do. Question : 3 aspek perbandingan antara watak utama dan watak sampingan. And i had to redo as i had the wrong idea of the question. It asked for perbandingan perwatakan [yang setara] but i did something like definisi for it. So i only had four marks for Isi. Learnt some new words too [save this for later].
Mr Lawrence didn't come. Couldn't ask him that English question. Demmit. And Mrs Gomez didn't really help. *sigh*

So, i didn't get to tell Mr Lawrence about my Sej although i've finally successfully gathered my courage. *sigh* How am i going to do the same thing and tell him tomorrow? *sniff* Hope there will also not be many students tomorrow.

Did and do not feel quite right today. I was + am easily agitated. Uhh~ Read the story until halfway then rained. Stupid~! So what is the best thing to do when it rains? Sleeeeeeeeeeep~ xD But i had a bad nap. >.<>is difference if you don't know] But suddenly i dreamt about snake. A class. With teacher but teacher was no where to be seen. But there is teacher. So this fellow in front of my seat was playing with a snake. He was holding it with his hand, pressing its head. It looks unharmful so i leaned forward to take a better look. Suddenly the snake was released from the fellow's hand. I quickly sit back in my place. Just then i realised the person on the left was also playing with a snake too. Our of the blue, the released-from-the-fellow's-hand snake jumped towards me and bit my arm. It felt nothing at first. But it's getting number. And i felt that the fangs were forcing its way deeper and deeper into my flesh. It didn't feel poisonous at first. But the deeper it went, [it occured to me that]the more poisonous it will be. Finally, everything went blank and i was..'back in the real world'. -rofl- But my hand still felt numb, as if i was really bitten by a snake. -shudders-

Nooo~ I love fishes. I love seafood~ Why must they ban me from eating them? And *cough* mom still *cough* cooks them *cough*. -mutters + grumbles-

Friendster blog is now down. So i wasted my time here. Didn't blog here yesterday though. So i think it's balanced. x)

Read Hazwan's blog. I wonder who is the form one girl he ter-perasan. x) And who is the guy he didn't feel good with. Not me huh? x.x His life is..simple yet complicated. I'm kindda envy. I love my life, physically. But i hate it 'mentally'. I think it sounds better in BM. x) And found Hidayah's blog too. Hehe. Nothing better to do. Oh i have better things to do! My Sej notes! Crap~ Gonna finish it tonight!

Before that, let me share some words with you guys i got from BM tuition teacher. =)

• Intihanya = Natijahnya = Konklusinya
  
• Desawarsa [can't find this word in Kamus Dewan, so i think i gonna ask her about this word again] ini = Kebelakangan ini
  
• Ironinya = Something like ironic. Get the better explanation in dictionary.
  
• Didaktik = pengajaran / bermaksud mengajar [i will prefer the former explanation. ignore the latter one]
  
• Hakiki [stole it from hazwan's blog x)] = benar
  
I'll put some English ones next time. Hope this will help in widening my vocab field.

-owari-

-7. 泵 OST - [泵 OST] 05.寸脚篮 唱绰 官焊 涝聪促.(Acoustic ver.) - Stay (泵OST)

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Dysphoric.

Did i hear you right? Or it was just an imagination? A hallucination? An ignis fatuus? You looked depressed, sad, or do i even describe you right? I felt so so helpless, powerless, useless. I wanted to..to hug you. But you know why i can't. I...I'm worthless. People were showing, pointing for me. But, i don't know what i should do. I felt so..so.. I'm just plain stupid.
I don't wanna know. I don't wish to know. I don't want anything to leave. I want everything to stay. Even I have to make myself selfish. I want you to stay. I don't know and don't care what my feelings are right now. All i want is you to stay, can you? -eyessoakedintears-

Yay i found a new word which i don't think i can remember but what the heck?! I will try to remember and use it so yay? x)

Had 93 for Geog. Can't really ask for more. So i'll just leave it here.

Maths. Such a killer!! I had only 89!!! IT'S EIGHTY-NINE!! Goddemit! It's not even above 90! It's the very freaking first time of my life dude! What the hell~! How can i make mistakes?! SILLY MISTAKES!! Well no bonus this time and i think part of me is actually feeling okay with it. It's fairer right? So my Maths, from perfection, i dropped till 89. It's eleven marks difference. Let my bro hears about it and how loud will he laugh? Oh congrats Clement for getting the highest although you still aren't satisfied. However, there's one thing that i'm pleased about myself. I am certainly NOT pushy like someone. I actually felt pity on teacher. And it's kind for teacher to ask whether i'm satisfied or not [although the answer is pretty obvious]. -faint smile-

I don't think it's wise to fight against someone, who you know, is not worth to. So i guess i'll just leave it here, unless he offends me.

Science. I had 96. Yay? Could've gotten 98 if it's not because of those friggin' questions! I should just follow textbook BILNDLY next time. Uhh~ And someone just had to walk around teacher's seat to peek other people's papers. How busybody. It was a miracle that i didn't shout at him already.

BM. Still waiting for paper one.

BI. Teacher was absent again. I doubt that we will get our papers back this week. And crap! That aluminuim question. How can it be wrong? WHICH idiotic teacher WHICH set the questions?! TOTALLY and UTTERLY UNREASONABLE! I will fight with En Annamalai about it! Well that is, if someone doesn't act like a dog and sticks with teacher everytime. Oh but the sun will rise from the west if he doesn't do so. So, who knows.

Moral. AGAIN~! Someone acted like a DOG~! He even speaked like a dog. I'm sorry. It's BARK~ When dogs bark, it's so damn loud and irritating right? Well if your dog isn't, the dog behind my bedroom certainly is. *sniff*

Oh yeah. I guess i know how many mistakes i have in BM paper one as the smart Joo Er stated over there for me although i asked her not to do so. So i know. And i got an A. But i'm not satisfied. I had more than 8 mistakes in paper one. And if paper is over 100, i'll be getting B already.

Will have Sejarah tomorrow. So i guess to be very down-to-earth and accept every single critiques i guess. Even if i lose my dignity, what can i do? I'm already the last in the class already. I seriously don't dare to think about my position in form. x.x So, hope teacher won't say anything harsh tomorrow although i know it's quite an impossible request.

-Tipsy by J-Kwan