Stuck on my mind.

When something is stuck on your mind, you will probably have a hard time getting it out. It will stick to your mind forever and ever and there is nothing you can do about it. It starts to affect your concentration, even when you are doing the thing you are best at. The memory surfaces on its own and you cannot help but to sulk. At least that's the most i could do. The more i think, the more i dream, the more i hope for and in the end the deeper i fall. Farah was right. I should not let the thought of other people affect me so much. But.. I just cannot help it. The thought of it makes me happy before i know it, the thought of it puts a smile on my face before i could stop it, the thought of it brightens my day even it is just for that split second. And because the thought of it is all i have right now, i sulk. Depress. Get sad. And emo. And that is all i feel for the rest of my day. And the next day. And the next. Despair. Until probably the thought becomes a reality, the thought becomes right in front of me. Yet, i don't think my presence is known, my feelings are through. I do not think it is mutual. Hope, but not yet. And after tuition ends, only the thought remains. And an injured, fragile heart. But hope remains. Hope without limit, and because the hope is without limit, its injury is far more limitless. Hope is the only chance i have, whichever path it brings me, it leaves me with no choice. I can only hope.

Not sure it's joy or despair. It's getting vaguer. And foggier. I hope it goes away, but deep down in my heart, as it is the only happy memory i have, i hope it stays.