Tuesday blue?

it certainly wasn't a good day.

lawrence commented about hairstyles today. and i really terasa. terasa until teruk-teruk that kind somemore. i don't know why. but i just terasa. i can't help but my hair stands naturally god damn it you buggers

then early in the morning saw those debaters. i don't know why but i wasn't feeling good. i felt..left out. and...jealous. don't ask me why. i just..felt..so. therefore my mood was completely down after that.

having a free time during geog class didn't help much. when we were doing the exercise, the fact that i suck in geog was proven. i couldn't remember anything. tempat-tempat pemeliharaan haiwan-haiwan. all the empangans and shits. i've completely forgotten them.

bm was normal. not very boring. but normal.

recess. that's when things got worse. because of my forgetfulness, i have to walk from downstairs to three floors up to get the paper i printed for tzen hong. and after that, called by someone to find the debaters again. dahla i said i didn't see them since recess started. he wanted them to meet him right away jugak. bloody hell.

some more it's about debaters again. terasa again. AGAIN! was not feeling good. at all.

then. amanahians came out late from bengkel kh. i saw garry on his way to his class. while i wanted to gather the prefects already. he saw me looking at him. so he asked, can he put his things in his class first.

because that innocent face of his, because our friendship.. i don't know why. but i let him. eventhough i was about to scold the prefects. YES, SCOLD.

and then shortly after that i asked jaarvis where are all the 3A prefects, he said i gave them permission to put their stuffs first.

FINE.

everything was raging deep inside me. i am not sure but i think i overdid it. i scolded them like..like...however bad a father can be when he scolds his children. i hope they sedar-sedar. zzz.

then free time during sivic class. and i kinda told kim, serene and huee ming if he was listening [kai shek was sitting directly in front of kim so he definitely heard it] about what i felt. and i think i agree with kim and kai shek. i suppose i think too much. toooo much. until i think about something bukan-bukan already. maybe i should relax or something.

wait. i said i was jealous. it was NOT because vicky asked them whether they wanna join the team and he didn't ask me. i was jealous MERELY because..because..[this really sounds very stupid] this year, we don't do and join things together like we used to last year. and i really felt left out. and jealous. can't help it. 

after the talk. i felt better. and we talked about..wet dreams and masturbating. = = all thanks to serene.

and i realised something. when i am not in the right mood, i can ignore everything. everything as in EVERYTHING, y'know. that is a little bit scary i think.

and angeline, imo, is a weird girl.

oh yeah. kai shek and kim said we used to be really close to each other. we were? how come i can't even remember the slightest incident? all the walking-together-thingy and whatsnot. but it's all in the past right now. although this sounds cruel, it really is [in the past right now].

after writing this, i should be feeling better. good day to you, blogger, and myself. =)