New Year.

Well. New year. So? Happy New Year is what i should say first.

New Year. Is everything new? Nope. It's only the year that's new. Everything is still the same. Except, the two toilets upstairs. Yeah, changed a bit. And myself. I'm not the same. Shall elaborate more if i want to.

It's only the first day of 2007. And i'm already not in a very good mood. Hope this doesn't signify anything.  Just feel like this year today is testing my patience. There must be something wrong with everything i do. *sigh*

Everything started fine. Found myself having weird dreams. Then couldn't wake up although i'm already awoken. Just felt like lying there. And there it went. My wonderful day. It was ten something when i've finally [successfully] forced myself to leave the warm and lovely bed. And got to know from Mom that Bro came back around six. It was shocking. So i had to take over his job - help Dad to pasang the sink and i-don't-know-what-is-it-tangki-? [the one you use to flush after poo-ing]. So i did my part until Bro finally came and helped out. Then found myself completely useless so i stood aside and acted like a dropout.

Mom came up and asked me which bag do i wanna use when school reopens. And i had no choice actually, since Little Bro has no more bags to use, he has to take mine. And i'll have to take Bro's since he has finished his STPM. So it's new but old bag. Oh, and smaller too. So i have to plan what and how to bring my books [which gave me sorta headache].

And couple of things happened, which made me felt worse. I'm so bad at explaining things that they always don't understand what i crap talk. It has to end up either me explaining it again or giving  up. It has to be my problem. So i think i have to really think, like there's no tomorrow, about what i'm going to say everytime i wanna say something. Yes, it sounds ridiculous, i starting to think that my existance is ridiculous as well. Hell yeah. Then, there was a news about yesterday's countdown concert. And i did see Suki performing. And yeah she did. But, when it showed more specific, Suki didn't show up. And eventually it was Garry Chao Ge singing with Zhuo Wen Xuan. A very lovely song. And yes i did know that she wasn't Suki, she was Zhuo When Xuan. But Bro just had to say that i thought that was Suki. I gave up and didn't explain any further. It's not the first time such situation happens so why should i care so much. As i wanted to go to get my handphone, cut my leg. Damn the stupid metal chair.

Wait. I should stop ranting. No idea why am i typing all these. Just. Well. When i wanted to come online, [i won't strike this] IDIOTIC LITTLE BROTHER told mom that he wanted to play computer. Mom did say that she wouldn't let him play ANYMORE after the last time he played. But she broke the promise and let him play. So i was like "What the heck?" As if there's obstacle in whichever way i wish to go. I sat at my desk, like a mad guy. Bro came, looked at me and asked, "Putus cinta ke?" I'm not sure what kind of stare did i give him. But i didn't care. So i came up and told my IDIOTIC LITTLE BRO that i want my computer back at 10.45pm.

But story didn't end this easily. To spend my precious 45 minutes, i packed my files and papers and placed them at one place. Not sure whether i'll even have a glance at them when PMR really comes. It took more time that i've expected and ended up spending more time. After that, Mom had to ask  me to sidaikan the shirts. So, i only able to come online at 11. That is, after asking Little Bro to get lost. Haih. It's as if there must be something stopping me from doing what i want. Sick of this. *sigh*

But there's one little thing good about today. The dinner was promising.  *grin* It was surprisingly good. And i love it a lot!

Oh. Talking about dinner just now. After dinner, Mom said something. It means something like, i must [as i manage to do so, according to them] get straight As in my coming PMR. She even gave examples like who's who's children and so on got straight As as if it is that easy and so on. But i can't help but worrying. *sigh* I know i should change and be more hardworking from now on. I know i should. But... I'm just not sure. And ashamed to admit that, i'm rather afraid. Not that anyone will know. *sigh* How should i improve myself? How?! Wish someone will help.

And i wanna apologise to you who're reading this. As you're reading useless rants. And sorry to myself to waste time blogging useless things. I think i should use only here, as the font is much better now. Should change layout as well. Not anytime sooner i guess. Busy. Hell yeah. *sigh*